Tombstone Rose

We can, sit and sob, we can hold our breath till tommorow. 

See another day, yet only live shawdow. I sit holding

my tongue, biting back words, crying, coughing up a lung.

Cause now I see my purpose in your life was only for a season.

You've played treason, on my heart and soul. I have no more goals.

Feeling a sense of sorrow, guess I'll wave goodbye and fear tomorrow.

Your scent is still fresh in my nose, here's to you, tombstone rose.

Mancured lawns,guess your gone, we were two innocent pawns.

Playing a game of chess, I used to rest my head against your chest.

Feeling your heart beat with mine, thought you last the test of time.

Guess that's only in the movies, so I'll jump on the band wagon and

join the groupies. Jester's jest, joker's joke, poser's pose,

hears to you, tombstone rose.

I stand in this place of peace among the deceased, of relationships

that have caused me to release this beast. Feeling a sense of

sadness and dismay, I want tommorrow to come fast, and for 

today to go away. I'll stand firm fast and ready to exit my 

exsistence, I'll get on my knees and pray, look, here's my penence. 

Fear, guilt, and ignorance. Let me not forget my innocense, 

I'll burnsome incense. Smells good, tickles my nose, 

hears to you, tombstone rose. 

Isn't this rain fitting, and I'm confused sitting... among the dead,

I'll make my bed... and sleep in it, count sheep, never heard you weep.

Sad eyes. Passer by's. Long goodbyes. Annoying maggats and flies.

With out you, I'm always a shade of blue. My feelings for you were true.

Your's were false, check my paulse, flat–lining, bad timing... to be 

walking away, God I wish you would stay. What was I, innocent prey... 

You should pray, for your darken soul, heart built like a blackhole.

Get ready, hurts coming, love's door is about to close, 

hears to you, tombstone rose.

They say good guys finish last... Not this one, now I'm in your past.

Then you'll sit and thirst, feeling and realizing you should have put

me first. But too late now, I've already disbursted, hated, 

jeered and cursed. Your fault, the reason my love for you is locked in 

this vault. Sealed with a bolt, from God's right hand trigger man. 

His will, I cannot stand... Now is the time... to bury this heart felt

crime, now cover it with dirt and lyme. Never to be opened or unlocked,

his will is painful, felt like I just got clocked, three painful blows to

the mind, heart and soul. I believe now that his son arose, oh, 

bye the way, here's to you tombstone rose.

I'll pick up the pieces, after your demise, and when my love for 

you ceases. Your soft hazel green eyes, your words were riddled

with lies. Noise pollution, no resoloution, I want to start a revoloution, 

but for what our relationship had no evoloution, most of the time it was 

in slow motion. Lying and causing commotion,you had a lack 

of emotion. Cruise control feel my passion, look, I'm still lasting, 

but fading fast, casting, a hook with no bait. All I feel for you is hate, 

guess that fate,and that's the way love goes, 

I love you still, tombstone rose..."

Uncharted Defences

I dreamt of rose coloured windows and fancy fences, To tell

the truth I couldn't understand the rules of society's defences.

To protect the killers of men and hurt the unborn, the world has got me craized, and I feeling torn. Torn between liberation and freedom, but to the guilty go unpunished? Do the marters get jeered? Does the giving hand always get cut off? Or is this my hiccup or annoying cough.

Or am I the minority, am I the one that's twisted and confused

with the governing society. I'll paint you a picture of life's unjust,

and talk about killing and destroy your trust.

But then I see your inner being that's programed like DOS.

Perfect and simple are you, so I get on my knees and reach for the cross.

To see like you do with good always in your sights,

I swear to God when I die I want you to recite my last rights.

So as long as your in this world you have me believing, and when

I get down and low I'll call upon you cause now I'm seeing, that 

love is true in some places and where it's most is in your many faces.

Yesterday's Fainted Scents

Eye's are persuded to look upon such beauty, I thank God for such

a gift to be blessed with as sight. If her and only her I wish to possess

as a phoenix feather. Ears to hear her laughter as one with

such a voice that of angelic values.

To feel with heart and not able to touch, is to be as though frozen

in a moment of time and space that like the sun has stopped and the

stars reflect envy and jealously towards her beauty.

Oh, to be gifted with a quill and ink well is to recall time on laughter

and countless tears, when for that moment is gone it is

like a shooting star has burst my bubble.

To be in her arms is to be caught in an hour glass, but the only 

thing that has become are broken memories of a once strong and 

powerful love, unbroken by time nor deceased by man's word. 

Only God knows what fall brings to the broken hearted. For all I 

see now is barren tree's and empty eyes staring back at me through 

broken memories and fainted scents of a once so called romance. 

To kill the pain is to lose thyself to anger and indulgence

in one's poor habits in reflection to things still not as

important as kind words from her lips.

Will this love go unchanged by certain events that

cannot be changed by the hand or the spoken word, but by the

heart true in love as well as in hate. 

Blink

Long nights, silent mornings and still afternoons. My love is held

prisoner to an abandon cell. Love's curse as forsaken me to live happily.

Words with no music, lines with no actor and a hero with no prize. 

Where have the days of laughter gone, where is my smile in the 

morning and my kiss before sleep.

Time spent just watching her dream, hours lost to hear her breath.

That smile that could make my tears wait in agony to be set free.

Days filled with joy and good tidings for summer has awakend in her 

hazel green eyes. Yet I blink everything goes dark, I am cold as a 

single leaf left upon a maple in mid winter. 

Long nights, silent mornings and still afternoons makes my 

temperment bitter as tainted honey. Colours are gray and shaded, 

skys are dark, and the moon morns for a new day as 

arisen on sad eyes and an empty soul. 

Souls once filled with adventure and spirit that angels envyed 

my love for life. Distant clouds have moved in and the storm has set 

it's stage. So let the thunder of anger be unleashed, come on and let 

the lightning strike with words so harsh and foul. Let wrath 

and blood pressure take all that's decent, love's riddle is only 

solved with a bitter broken heart.

And let my def cries fall on long nights, let my heart break upon

silent mornings, and let me be fortune's fool on still afternoons.

Blink.  Blink.   Awake...

Chaos Amongst the Sheets

Turning twisting are these sheets as lovers embrace for the last time, 

for fall has arrived on spanish eyes and long kisses. 

Pillow talk brings to wide open stares on female curves so perfect you 

could swear God took more time on creating her. Lips so full and skin 

so soft you feel as though you should pinch yourself to check if your not

dreaming of an angel, in these times when chaos is amongst the sheets.

Time seems to tick faster bringing day to night and back again. 

The good times shared that night fade to golden memories stored 

in your head for the days without her. When you can look back and 

remember when chaos was amongst the sheets.

We simple few who are granted love from the heavens above are 

blessed with such good tidings that we await our lovers call from 

moning till night when there's that one chance of a lovers rapture 

that keeps us sane and keeps... chaos amongst our sheets. 

So anun good friends, for time is late and the sandman comes to 

visit as though it were fate. For lying alone has you scenting her 

smell and longing her warmth. And as tears role down thy face 

and your heart drums out steading beats when alast you wait 

one more time for Chaos amongst the sheets.

Absent

Absent are you like the rain for hot days and brown lawns. 

Absent are you like a snowman from a frozen landscape. 

Absent are you from nights that won't end 

and days of yesterday I can't let go.

Absent is me, by your side. 

I long for happiness from this depressed soul who 

longed for nothing more then a caring glance from eyes so spirited.

Absent are you like a mother to a new born. 

Absent are you like music to an opera. 

Absent are you from days filled with dreams shared by both of us.

Absent is me, from my life, cause of you.

I feel as though this is an on going nightmare, 

a dark day, but for no reason. A new life, with no meaning. 

A new start for and old story.

Absent are you like the stars for a clear night. 

Absent are you like a bride from a groom on 

a fall day. Absent is me, who longs for you. 

Like an old horse longs for one last gallop 

upon green fields. 

Absent is me, saying I love you.

It was you and only you God only knows

 where the road will end for me. But I pray for that

 day to be with you one more time.

Absents from your glances, Absent from your 

I love you's, said under your breath from a 

distance. Absent is your laugh from happy eyes. 

Absent from the sunsets we cast ours dreams upon...

Absent is me, without you. 

Almost Goodbye

How do you do it?

How do make me see differently?

How do you drive me? 

How do you do it?

I don't want too, but I have too.

I can't breath around you anymore.

I can't feel my feet, or think around you.

I'm torn by what needs to happen.

I want to stay, but I can't.

I want to fall in love with you.

I want to watch you sleep, and make you smile.

But I can't fulfill the promise you told yourself.

You'll never see me as you once saw them.

I am not a void filler, I am not just a season.

I am a man curse to fall fast and true in every aspect.

I could fly to the moon and back again.

I'm not a goal setter, I'm a goal acheiver.

I know to much to hold on to not enough.

Spirit driver, soul maker, heart breaker.

You with simple words, deep speech.

An earthly angel, that hears 

music not just listens to it.

No need to runaway, for I'm walking away.

My season with you is at it's end.

I take with me more then I ever need.

I have pictures and memories that are all good.

I can't suffer another drifting soul mate.

I can't watch as my world falls with broken words.

You always got me, you could always see through me.

Did you see this? Deep down you hinted. Deep down

I knew you were just to good to be forever. 

If they bottled you, it would be called

Love's last breath, need only take a wift

and be healed. Be cured from your insecurities.

Thank you.  

I know this seems sad, and devastating.

I know this comes from left field.

I know you feel for me. I know you can't let go.

Too a past you wish you still had.

They say we can't choose who we fall in love with.

Well I did, and the days, hours and moments spent together.

I will cherrish forever, but I know this was coming and it breaks my 

heart to do this but, some how you will overcome.

You always will. You will always be for me.

Thank you for just being. I love you, forever.

 

A New Defiance Part 1

It was lush; where the forest and the waters ran into infinity. The winds hummed through the wheat grass and the tall conifers sung their most secret of songs. The temperature always felt perfect and the salted earth always felt sound and solid. Harmony, so it’s been called. The flora and fauna harmonized with the changing seasons and the circle of life was in balance. Every living life force connected in some spiritual way. The sky would change color based on the temperament and emotion of the living creatures. We embraced and celebrated the perfect unions that involved the weather and growth of our Eden. Change was something that had never crossed our minds, as the the days came and went exactly as planned. We became accustomed to the normalcy which was our life without complication; when we were hungry we ate, when tired we slept. We would hunt and gather and prune the most fruitful of trees. It was a very predictable and content society, and everything was as it should be...or so we thought.

Yet for all of the perfection and contentment our world had, the center of our Eden held a secret place. A forbidden place. We would occasionally walk too close to the barriers and be reminded from the other Fallen, or ‘Guardians’ not to enter. Although they had no forceful ambitions they could not utilize nor enforce the law, because as humans we had something they did not. Free will. We never tempted them or spoke harshly and had a mutual respect for them. They were quite beautiful, as you would say in your tongue. They were imperfect perfections. When asked why we must avoid this area, they would recall the story:

At the center of this knowledge was a scorned Guardian called Lucifer who fought with the one named as the Creator. Their argument was riddled in passion and anger for one another, with the Guardian begrudgingly adhering the the laws of the Creator without fail, but not always in agreeance. This dispute lasted eons until the final clash ended with the Guardian falling from the Heavens onto Earth. To better survive this new land the he discovered that although he held not omniscience or free will, he had discovered and honed his power to mimic the likeness of any creature he saw. His story is one of the first regretful fallen victim. That he did not accept his fate and would often try to do things that would gain favor with his prior life as the Creator’s assistant. To this day he is remised and uncompromising to the events that would lead up to our current being. He was but a pawn in life's game of chess and his rage is expected.

My story begins here with the birth of one of the most beautiful creatures ever created; Eve. A mixture of unmitigated sass and organized chaos, she was the original muse and the reason change had to happen. Her faint scent could be felt in the deepest of infatuations and in the most cherished of love affairs. Eve’s essence radiated in the hearts of those true in the ways love. She is the mother of every hopeless romantic. She was the life force of change, the Venus of our time and the fuel that set the heart aflame. This was our Eve. Created from the Earth and our blood, with ethereal beauty as well as an inquisitive mind, she encompassed the best of both worlds. You see, the common misconception is that she was created the same as Adam when in truth she was not. She had the Earth and its ever changing conditions built with the blood of the truest and most loved of species. In her own right, she was stronger and more adaptable.

To Eve, life was too simple. In the beginning she was content but after decades of nothingness and years of questioning, she found herself yearning for more. For that spark or for that new love affair with something. ‘Rebellious’, your kind would say. ‘Defiant!’. To her this was life. Often Eve would sit next to the bubbling brook in the meadows and put flowers in her long blond hair and feel the cool water with her hand and wonder. ‘Why live content’, she would muse, ‘when you can be happy?’ Adam would always watch Eve while she lay next to the brook for hours until she grew bored and wandered away. He would try to understand her desires, her wants, her needs for more knowledge, but he would always get frustrated and think about something else.

Eve was woman, and woman was new to this engagement, this covenant. What was she trying to expel? What was she looking for? Why create something that cannot taste satisfaction? Ever changing as she was, unpredictable she became. She would be gone for long periods of time, and suddenly show up and want everything to be as it once was, but what once was...was what? Routine was fast something she could not comprehend. For long periods of time she would try, to little effect, to change the color of the sky, the temperature of the water, the height of the trees. She was, to some, peculiar. But there would be one that would fancy her. One that would understand her. Her need to advance in the circle of life. Her cravings were not worldly, they were, in her mind, just. To Eve, living one’s life in the same way forever was not happiness, it was a death sentence. To be with one person, to only know one man’s touch was not a fairy tale, but a nightmare.

Where was the rest of her species -surely there should more than just the two of them- and how come she was so unfazed by eternal life in a garden of complete solitude? Her want would anger the Creator, forcing him to question why it was that Eve's unsteady heartbeat did not beat in the harmony of her surroundings. As her mind strengthened and she decided to tempt fate and break through the barriers of the forbidden place, the Guardians could do nothing but watch with curiosity. As she approached the forbidden place, whispers could be heard of the other Fallen who had abandoned their post.

Eve was unchanged when she came upon them. She was not startled, scared, or complacent. ‘I am Eve, and the Mother of all things new and inspired’, she would remind herself. And she was right, for the Fallen would beckon to her charm, and warm to her beauty. Her ability to enchant those around there led them to crown her as their muse; from this, what your kind know now as Music was created. This Music was made to celebrate her allure, her countless perfections, her balanced body and lips that tasted of rain off freshly-picked junipers. She stayed in the forbidden land for a long period of time and was in no rush to leave, for their stories told of a different tale of creation; of a dark time where control and hard labor was their off days while their work days were painful and scarring. The immense and labor-intensive acts of moving planets, suns and destroy and rebuild was expected and done without question. Floods, fire, death and harsh wastelands full of primitive less-powerful Gods that did not have the armies of the one Creator were concurred, dismantled, and killed. At this point in the Fallen’s story, Lucifer made his presence known and he greeted her with delight wrapped in curtness.

She asked of him to indulge, to tell her his story. “What happened? Tell me the reason for all this.” One of the Fallen, Beelzebub, stood and glared at her as if she said something off color. He naturally held a striking pose, armed with his well-used and worn spear, he looked at Lucifer for the command he had heard many times before. Lucifer looked upon this new creature with curiosity and remarked to Beezlebub to stay at ease. “She inquires, dearest Beezlebub, let me recount our story. One of love, glory and loss”. There was a sense of innocence in his eyes. He was well toned and beautiful he was scarred from head to toe. His hair was dark and wild, his eyes both daunting and sad. His perfect bone structure led to his perfect voice pitch. Lucifer was a musician and muse. He was the favored one, the first angel, the Creators first love. Lucifer got comfortable, and as night fell and the air became cooler he started a fire. “Look, child.” he said, pointing to the fire and as she watched the flames dance, she noticed that the embers created out of thin air a flashback.

It all started peaceful, and then there was light. I was alive. We were borne from stars; our ancestors from a time before time. With guidance from the Creator, we created new stars from our bloodlines. We created solar systems. Planets were named after their creators, and each was assigned an a ideology and a life force. For a time is was harmonious, it was what life was scripted to be. We drifted, we let life play out according to their standards. We gave them powers, as well as to create new ones...

Eve interrupted, "Powers, what kind of powers?" “The power to create life, Eve.” “Create Life? You speak of becoming a God?” “Yes, Eve. A God in their own right. Shall I continue?” Eve nodded, eyes wide with amazement.

Lucifer’s hands moved swiftly, his eyes sharpened and grew bigger and smaller based on the stories he told. The room was elated, for they had not seen such life from him in a long, long time.

The stories of the planets grew, and life flourished. Mars, Neptune, Saturn, Venus, Pluto, Jupiter, Uranus and Mercury. It was grand, all of us in this room creating the most beautiful beings and humanoids. There was never violence or death. There was only acceptance and peaceful cultures. They built, fished, hunted and became truly Enlightened beings. The sun was our main life force and everything was governed by its likeness. It was a strategically placed and balanced life. I and the Creator...” "You mean Destroyer!" Azriel shouted from across the fire.

The crowd turned to meet his angered gaze. Azriel's eyes burned with fury and tears of blood ran down his cheeks. There was an overwhelming sense of loss amongst the group. It was as if the air had been sucked out of them. As if their hope diminished.

The silence of the next thirty seconds was suffocating. The blaze of the fire crackled, and Azriel looked out at the crowd. "Why repeat these stories of defeat and darkness? Must we relive our sad fate over and over? We carry this burden and our failed attempts of saving our creations has been fruitless. We were mauled- crucified!- and their lives and souls depended on us to protect them and WE FAILED! Their stories weren't written, their lives are but distant, faded memories and we, we banished, will never be what we once were. We have unique talents, yes, and we have each other, but tell me brothers, do you not look upon me as a failed God, as a Fallen Guardian? What once held truth is now riddled in lies. We used to be favored and have a voice that was heard and that voice had meaning. Look at us now. What are we to become? They took my life!” Then silence.

Azriel, visibly spent, retreated to his seat amongst the Fallen. "Enough tonight. Eve, walk with me," Lucifer said gently.

Lucifer extended his hand and reached out for Eve's. She grabbed hold and was lifted gracefully to her feet. They walked into the darkness together, their silhouettes captured by the roar of the now-dying fire. As they walked their forms faded till nothing remained but the tips of the wafting flames. The Fallen that stood around the fire left one by one. Azriel was the last to leave. He glared at the fire and heard the cries of agony that played like background music in his head. He stood up, and in disgust his large framed body kicked the earth and all at once, a wave of turf came over the fire and smothered it at once. Then there was silence. Nothing could be seen, but the subtle sound of feet shuffling about could be heard and the whispers began again.

Eve and Lucifer walked through a pasture land where they were greeted by massive Clydesdale horses. One called Aramis slowly moved to Lucifer’s open hand to receive hay that appeared in his hand. Eve looked at Lucifer as a new confidant, a new device to release her urges and fits of discomfort. He sensed this, smiled gravely behind his eyes and offered the bait. "And what is your story, Eve? What made you breech the rules to discover these forbidden quarters of Eden?" Lucifer asked. Watching Aramis munching on the meal, she became pensive. “It seems too perfect, this garden,” she decided. “Where one can do no wrong,” she stated regretfully. And so it was that Lucifer the storyteller had now become the listener. Eve rambled about how she didn't feel at ease. That she didn't feel her life was deigned to remain a daywalker and a nightdreamer. Lucifer quietly listened and took notice when she told him there were parts of her that regret her life, and he saw there was a distinct mean streak in her veins. There was a sense of coldness and depth that she could feel in her soul. It was like the cry of a million souls were screaming though her. And he himself had felt that before...

Lucifer's demeanor changed, he walked a couple paces further into the pasture lands. The sun was setting, and the sky was a mixture of what he called periwinkle and rhodamine red. Eve followed, and with apprehension she inquired. "Did I say something to offend?" There was no immediate reply. He realized this was the moment he was waiting for, and what he was expected to do. After a long pause he walked back to Eve and stood to face her. He grabbed her arm gently and asked to draw blood. Without hesitation she nodded, tilted her head back and closed her eyes. Lucifer took in the sweet ambrosia of her skin and licked her neck. Deciding he could not resist such temptation he pierced her skin with his large canines and tasted the blood of woman. With a look of disbelief his eyes grew wide and he fell to his knees in agony, wiping the poison from his lips with his hand. ‘It's true...’ He muttered under his breath. Eve took notice of this and asked with a newfound caution, "What's true?" "Everything... everything is true." Eve fell to her knees to meet his eyes, and asked him to continue the story of creation. She demanded to know her place. ‘Yes, it’s time,’ he thought. Lucifer stood and beckoned her to climb atop of Aramis’ back and reached for Eve. Not knowing what lie ahead of her but not scared- after all, she was Eve- she was soon gripping his waist as he rode into the darkness

Pogo: The story of the last unicorn.

It was always assumed that I was mythical, even fantasy. The world has changed since my time here on this soiled planet. I remember forest of evergreens and the gentle songs they would sing. I can recall the streams that ran crystal blue. The wild flowers that wanted nothing more then to be appreciated. The mountains with their many changing mood colors, and the way they would grow in anticipation for the falling snow at winter time. A time where seasons lasted as long or as short as you wanted them too. A time when innocence couldn't be lost and death was never final. A time when our earth was the center of the universe. Before science, religion and politics shaped our landscape and brainwashed us with social acceptance. Our primitive thought process was so forlorn to judge the would be wicked and cut down the uniqueness of this world with blinded ignorance.

My mother, My earth, my blood runs through this old planet of mine. In my time here I have seen great destruction and mass genocide based on the fear of the unknown. Mortals who cause the modern day birth pains of my mother are a toxic parade of impatience and weakness. Since the first tribulation when your kind bit the apple that caused death and shame. I have sat back until now, waiting, yearning to set the record straight about my species. I have watched you argue and destroy my Eden based on petty beliefs and religious differences. I have watched as you enslaved your entire race with your monetary system. Fed your spoiled, maggot infested food to the starving Children of this world. I have sat in silence as you napalmed innocent people, launched your waste into the universe and molested & corrupted the would be leaders of the free worlds. I have acted as a free spirit waiting for a time when someone would come forth and speak gently about our shared planet.

I have watched you pawn off the rain forest killings as the work of paper companies and publishing corporations. When you and I both know that land is plowed to create pasture land for livestock so you can fill your gluttonous and impatient appetites. I have seen you destroy creatures for testing hair products and for their fur. I've awaited the day when people would come forward and ask the killings to stop, the earth to stop be denigrated and the flowers to not be removed. I have lived in your filth and bathed in your spilled blood over foolishness. I can watch the tears fill oceans and the bodies stack over the African continent. You are a small minded, self preserving nation of individuals who live life with no acknowledgement for other life forms and you wonder about undiscovered species.

If a birds voice is not heard does it exist? I have watched the bee species diminish into a scarce confused species. Cell phones and your impulsiveness to not sit in silence leads to the confusion of the most important species on this eroded earth. Your need for constant communication because you fear the wrath of what this world would communicate to you. Your lights blazing, music blaring to drown out the cries of your ancestors and the memory of the trees. You fail to acknowledge a world without you in it. You actually feel your species is more advanced than the rest of us, you believe technology is a new endeavor. When nothing has really changed at all, you still need shelter, food, water and clothing. Your species has falsified what living the good life is with your harmful material wants and needs. You take calculated risk to justify peace talks, when the only real peace is found within my Mother.

I have flown over polluted oceans, and watched as you deformed the living seas. You have killed off several species who have never been explored or who had the chance to evolve. You have underestimated the wealth of life you have destroyed and the damages are irreversible. I have descended and have talked to the overfished bounty, the constant digging, prodding and drilling. The inexcusable waste, the packed landfills, the toxic air and the bacteria ridden water supply. I can come to only one conclusion. You have raped my Mother, and abused my heritage. You have fornicated our spirits and souls to fear you, hide from you and not trust you. You have forgotten your promise to the heavens to watch out for us and in turn disobeyed the Gods. Their judgement will be unpredictable and your hearts will cry for mercy and our answer will be NO. Days are coming when this old Planet will have it's just reward.

You contest your responsibilities and rule out prosperous subcultures. You have turned the tide in your favor to misguide the young and mislead the elders. The sages of time have witnessed your acts and will not take pity on your havoc ridden primatial disguises.

What have you done?

What have you caused?

If technology is your answer then you have deepen your debt to passerby's and the fireflies. Long since I stood in my place of solitude and felt completely in-tuned with nature's spirit. Long since I have walked the hillsides and brought good news to the decrypted ancient world. Our planet, my Mother, yearns to let go, to start over. We have become a victimized self-fulfilling prophecy. I can no longer be seen, and nor can my kin. You have awoken the dreamer and crescendoed his sleep with talks of reality and real life. You have made your children forget their invisible friends and made them non-believers. We are now a distant past, worlds away from the days of old. Our stories are no longer told and the hero is lost in words like MYTH, and old wives tales. We do not hear of our serenity or our charitable good tidings. I have become mortal in your eyes. I have fallen from my pedestal you once dreamed me upon.

I am plain, I am normal to your eyes. I no longer can fly or possess magical powers. My dreamer has awoken and he does not sleep. For in sleep the toxicity of the world you defecated becomes his prison. I can no longer break through to him. No longer does his heart yearn for the dreams of a soulmate. I am but a distant vision and a child-book song, sung to deaf ears and a dead past. There is no rectifying, there is no hope for me anymore. I will fade to dust and rejoin the stars. There is no room for me in your crippling, dying world. The stuff of dreams has all but diminished and you will continue to consume until nothing remains. Until the oceans dry up. Until the forests wither, the snow and glaciers melt. Until every commodity is eroded and all resources have been neutralized.

You will wage war on one another because of such times. You will become a deformed subspecies and your minds will shrink because of no nourishment. Your souls will leave your infected bodies and you will feed of your own kind, until you can't remember your true nature. For that nature you abandoned when you chose your free will over your obligations. You will live your last days as if the sun no longer cares to shelter its strength. Your days will be spent in hiding from its powerful radiation filled rays. Sores and tumors will grow upon you for the air becomes a harmful chemical reaction that makes your lungs bleed and your throat close. You lose the ability to produce and you give birth to non-breathing, lifeless entities . Your eyes no longer see clearly because you have blinded them with poor judgement and lustful coveting. Your sense of smell can only sense the decaying bodies you left in your wake. They do not turn to dust, they stay rotten for the bacteria filled air preserves them.

Eventually you pass on and crossover where you will await your judgement and you will wish for death, and it will not come. For eternity you will live with the regret and punishment of your actions upon the living energy resources. You will be haunted with the gravity of your demolition and your destructive aspirations. I will call to you once more and you will ask why? And I will not answer, for in your question you have answered for me. Good Bye wicked world, when the dust settles and air clears we will rebuild our home and will once again roam the many distant lands of my past. With that it mind, remember me, believe in me once more.

I bid you, adieu.

POGO: The Story of the last unicorn

flickr.com/photos/ mollybzz/3006787207/

Fate & Destiny

At a single glance, a single dart toward the heart, a lasting feeling that takes your breath away every time you think of her that first time. For some, a trivial and emotional roller-coaster ride. For others, a confusing mindset that splits the heart in two. One path leads to a planned, content and civilized home. The other, a blind voyage into the unknown and the only thing that is clear is the way you feel for each other. I can still remember those mental pictures snapped in my head from our outings together, those gentle eyes gazing at me and the way her hair was a batch of organized chaos. If fate had a role in this, then destiny had to play catch-up.

I for one have never felt this before, I can't explain it, and to paraphrase it would not do it justice. For the first time in my life I felt I had met my other-half. To look into her eyes was like looking into a mirror. I could just sit next to her and say nothing, create nothing and do nothing and completely and utterly be in a euphoric state of mind. It's true that I have had many lovers and long relationships in 32 years of existence, but never was I this vulnerable or completely at a loss for words. I had been the bearer of hurt and the dealer of death to many hearts in my life time but this is not a story of a broken heart. It is a story of a heart being healed through the power of faith and a couple twists of fate.

It was not a lustful relationship, to be totally honest we never even kissed. It was a young and innocent love affair with stimulating conversations and intense open eyed stares. I know her facial expressions by heart, I know her many casual glances. I know my own and they are not that different. If I could sit with her for the rest of my life and only hold her hand and listen to her laugh I could say I knew what being in love felt like. Our meeting places were not hidden and secret. Our conversations were not scandalous and perverted. Her presence with mine felt like two souls joining for the first time. The energy we through off was cataclysmic, and made the stars respect our union.

This life is yours to lead, and I can proudly say I've had love, felt love, and lost love. I will always question my thought process on matters of the heart. I will always believe and remain guided by the hopeless romantics of the world. We make the kiss last longer, the love grow with each passing year and the dream reachable. Some would call us fates fool or destiny's choice. Little do we know there are many cards at stake. Many choices that make or break us every day. When dealing with matters of the heart let us be impulsive. Fate is always around the corner, and the question always follows behind, "Where were you a year ago?" "Timing is the one thing you can't count on." For me I didn't plan on falling for her. But I did. That is something I will never regret and our story will reach the fallen and the non-believers to empower them to believe, it does exist.

Rain fell hard that day and for some another headache. Others frustrated with the downpour. Few recognized the beauty of it, the very natural way it flooded into our lives and hearts. Those denying it's massive presence will just never understand the hopeless romantics out there. Rain is way of cleansing and refreshing the toxic waste of human kind upon the earth. We are a fallen species but at times an emotional carousel of progress. She wasn't average, she wasn't mediocre she was the one. In order to start this right I must first have to dabble into the stories of our past. Our oldest past, when Fate and Destiny agreed on time and place. When they understood their purpose to make people follow in the commandments of love.

Fate always the careful one, the meticulous one. Destiny, more the aloof, fly at the seat of the pants, the procrastinator. Her eyes met mind in my favorite season, Fall. Fall is the most understanding of all true romances. The air was cool and crisp, the sun caressing my face and the leaves beginning their metamorphosis. I to was in a cycle of change, my faith in love at a low point. I had just battled a tough divorce and was bitter with change. Change is the one thing I can't get used to, I never will. I had taken some time to gather my thoughts and try to put back the pieces of a failed romance. It's difficult sometimes to let go and walk away, sometimes it is easy and other times a mutual understanding.

I was giving a lecture on advertising & creative thinking, when she caught my attention. Her outlandish questioning and passion for her ideology could rival a criminal trial lawyer. I wasn't use to explaining myself, nor did I feel I had to. I agreed to speak with her after the conference to explore her subjectivity. She was young, bullheaded and built like a brick shit house. Her eyes were the color of glaciers and her hair like the mane of an appaloosa.

She was relative in height and she had a swank in her small but powerful voice. The constant questioning made me feel like I was on a talk show. I invited her to get a drink being her installment of questioning was wearing on me. She was young, hungry and ready to fill her mind with my methodologies.

The night was filled with intellectual, passionate conversation that led to me inviting her out for a second night. I hadn't known it at the time but I was aware of a certain jewelry piece on the left index finger. At our second outing I invited her to a mutual setting for lunch and we talked about what that ring met. She was married and happy, her husband was a financial planner with SmithBarney. He was fresh out of college and hired right out of school being he finished top ten percent of his class. I could see the way she lit up when she described his being. All at once I turned the conversation into a professional meeting of the minds and tried to wrap quickly. As we parted that day, part of me wanted to see her again but I knew that was not the ethical or professional way to handle such events. She was a taken woman and such conversations could bring temptation knocking on the door.

A couple days later I received a call from my witty admirer asking me to join her for lunch. I wanted so bad to see her but knew that would be a breach of morality. I denied the invitation and told her I had already eaten. A week past and I ignored calls and messages. I was taken the highroad for I knew what hurt felt like, wasn't I the egomaniac. As I was wondering the halls of the convention center for the last summit meeting I saw her. She strode up to me with a casual dottle and asked, "You are hard to reach!" I told her at this time in my life and you recently married I don't think it would be a wise decision to hang out. She looked up at me and said, "It's just a beer." Well, I fly home in a couple days, what could it hurt, I thought.

Being she knew this town better than I, she drove. She took me to a sunny dockside restaurant, where we sat outside and drank some local micro-brewed beer. It was unusually warm for this time of the year so it felt good to be outside. With each passing gulp of refreshing hops and barley another memory made. We combed through our lives like forensic scientists and the end result was a DNA match. We said and felt the same things. We had done and enjoyed the same activities. It was like having a conversation with yourself in the mirror. As the sky darkened and the day turned to night the many faces around us changed but we didn't. We were stuck in some trance, and not only were we engaged in the conversation but our souls as well.

Every passing minute ticked by and her face changing expressions left an impression in my mind like I was recording an amazing event. I had found her, at last I could be me and she could be her. The sky opened up and the rain fell hard, hard like as if the heavens had awakened an the Gods had brought two souls back together. As the crowds moved away from the storm we embraced it, for we, had caused it. As I took her hand in mine the chilling feeling of be totally elated and complete hit me. It was as if everything slowed down, where we could see every rain drop reach it's destination. Her eyes fixed on the rain as well and then back to mine. She blinked in slow-motion and here she was, my MYTH, the woman I had written about, fantasied about and longed to meet.

With another round ordered we engaged in talks of the heart and the what ifs. When I talked she was totally engaged in the conversation and she lit up. As we closed the check out I took her hand and walked with her down the pier. We looked at the boats, and we gave them new names inspired by our new found fate. There is this mental image of her at the end of that pier that I relive often in my head. I wanted love so bad, I wanted to totally fall into her and I wanted to just be with her forever. Foolishness and infatuation were words that did not apply to our union. Our souls new it was right. As I led her to the end of the pier we looked out on the moons reflection on the water and we embraced. Not a kiss or an awkward touch, a genuine hug, that brought our souls and hearts so close together it felt like the part that had been missing from me my entire life.

She was my puzzle piece, my corner stone and my MUSE. The stillness was defining, the peace was warm. Everything was right where it was suppose to be. She gently pulled away and looked up at me, her eyes filled with tears of joy and confusion. I knew I had to let her go now. It was at this moment reality set back in, she was married to a great guy, a man of trust and honor. Her phone rang and that was that. She would be leaving for the evening. The ride back to the convention hall was silent, the rain flurried on the window shield the silent hum of the engine was methodical and soothing. The tears began to fall has I left her car and turned back to her. She rolled the window down and said, "fate's a crazy thing, it's just never on time is it?"

I looked at her whole-heartily and said, "To bad destiny was sleeping, it was to worried about matching couples instead of matching souls."

The story of us ends here in this parking lot. Not ever knowing what could have been, or even what was. She doesn't pull back around and get out of the car and scream take me with you. She doesn't catch up with me at that airport and stop the flight. It was a walk in the clouds a taste of humanity and a glimpse of what it feels like to totally lose yourself in someone. There is not a day that passes by that I don't look for her around the hallways and airport terminals. I've visited that spot often, I stand on that same pier, sit in those same Adirondacks and remember that fateful evening when Fate & Destiny met for what was a love that never got born.

I never called or checked up on her. I'm still single and I have had my share of relationships since then. I was always looking for her though and never found her. I know that I can't be mad with the way things unfolded and no one is at fault but I do know that I will breathe my last breath with her name. I will find her again, when those stars align in my favor and when the rain falls hard again I'll look up and know she'll be there. With those eyes like deep pools of unexplored waters. I'll close my eyes now and relive that moment until I can feel my puzzle piece complete again. Goodbye for now my MYTH... Find me again, where it rains without a cloud in the sky whether day or night. Where it falls in slow-motion. Our love was the stuff fairy tales are made of and movies can't quantify. Till we meet again my muse, I Love You.

Security In A Canadian Couch

It was always there to be one of the securities in my life. I always gave thought to the normalcy of children my age with their security blankets and pillows, but nothing every took. I wanted so much to use something more efficient, something more controllable. Life had always took me to the reminiscent familiar feeling and comfort of my special place. Where I could be a kid again and life and worry weren't part of the mediocrity. Life, as I knew it was not easy, owning up to the finer things in life can be a burden on a young child. My spirit grew to know the ways and hows of fooling people into believing I was,.. Well, normal.

I can not express in so many ways my emotions, I believe it was always the sense of urgency that my parents bestowed on me. There always seemed a proper way of doing things, and then there was my way of doing things. I chose the latter way of dealing with the problems of my youth. It wasn't all snowfall and family gatherings, it was a tight ship in my household. My grandfather was a depression baby and WWII Vet. My father fell into his footsteps, Vietnam, War Hero, and then into sales for Nabisco, in fact, he was one of the fortunate ones to get in on the ground floor of that company, by the time he was 27, he was worth millions. Money was his first love, and then his family came second, after his womanizing of course.

The years of my youth rolled on with morning PT, and language classes. Then it was off to piano and violin lessons. The very root to my problems came with the conception that I was exposed to a life of privilege and nobility. I didn't want this life, I didn't ask for this, "Privilege." I remember my father always stating to me, "When you say yes to something, you just said no to something else." Oh, the warmth of my childhood... Walking around the estate home felt like a fortress, maids, caretakers, butlers and handmaidens. The love I received from my parents felt forced, and artificial. Security could only be found in my beloved couch, where I would dream of a harder life, and orphan life.

Why did I contemplate the very essence of my existence? What was I to become? If your entire life as the third male born to a history of War Heros and successful businessmen, wasn't it inevitable that I was to become the fallen one? The one that held promise, the future of my name, my heritage, my legacy. So much pressure for a five-year-old. So much pain and suffering, why couldn't my father show vulnerability and sensitivity? Could he not be fatherly, am I forced to believe I would never truly know my father? It was at this moment that my fears were realized. I would become outset and dark. I would be the one not smiling in photos. Forced habits and going through the motions of adolescence also felt awkward like I was in a dream, but fully aware that I was in a dream.

My youth was spent at beach houses, estate homes, and on european terraces. I would have loved to had lived as a pauper, my entire fundamental childhood was spent kept away. I was so far removed from the normalcy of life that I began to believe the only world that was out there was the one I lived in, inside my head. Church was a joke, money grieving whores in white robes. When I went to confession it was the most creative part of my life, I actually got to lie about things I wish I could do or say. Ten Hail Mary's and I was clean of my forged sins, I guess the biggest sin was lying that I sinned... Men that sustain from sex, shouldn't where dresses in my opinion, and they wonder why the catholic church has seen it's share of sodomy and child abuse.

Ah,.. the privileged life, where you weren't free to be you, only the person you were suppose to be. My addictions started young, but not in the sense of what your thinking in your head. They started out as tiny white lies, enough to pull you in and accept lies as truth. With time they grew bigger and bolder. It was my escape, and in the comfort of my maple leaf soaked sanctuary I was free to conjure them up. It was at this point I began to live, to invent my precarious sub-life. I have never spoken openly about the things you believe and the reason you believe them, but since the dawning of time we have all told a little fib... Right?

I remember it being a cold, crisp fall day, the leaves had changed and the explosion of color looked like a box of fruity-pebbles that were scattered across the lawn. The scent of holiday spices suffocated my nasal passages. It was by the old oak that was toward the back of the estate when we first met. The oak was strong and planted by the Vanderbuilt's centuries ago. It stood tall and black, its girth was that of an African elephant. Massive, was a word that felt small to describe it. He went by the name, Lucian. A proud man, noble in his appearance. His eyes were deep pools of darkness. His skin, the fairest I'd ever seen, even in the north east. He was a lengthy man, tall, thin, and drawn. The circles under his eyes enhance his dark round pupils. He was an engaging creature of the earth.

As I began to sink deeper into my almond colored cushions, I remembered this first meeting vividly. "Good day to you," he said. As I walked up to the tree his appearance became more known. "Good day to you," he said again. "Can I help you," were the words I had conjured up to help in his own awkwardness. His demeanor grew corse and his eyes shifted to mine, with his head tilted slightly he began to smirk. "Hardly,' He replied. "It is not I that need help, my path has been written by my own hand, yours is but a sketch on cheap paper." Interesting I thought. His outward appearance was unique, his tight fitting black clothes were layered and flowing. "I'm sorry do I know you?" I said nervously. With a dance around the tree, he said, "Possibly, but once again you requested this audience." "I did?" I said puzzled.

He circled once more and squatted to the frozen ground, his back leaned against the old oak. His steps were quick footed and light, he hardly made sound when he moved, it was as though he almost floated more then walked. "You, born of privilege could not possibly entertain the thought of my past, I have come to tell my story and would love for you to tell it." It occurred to me that this was some sort of prank, but getting an audience with this type of person sounded forlorn. "Oh, I tell stories now, and who would listen new friend?" I said sarcastically. He paused, got still, so still it was almost reptilian. His eyes gazed upon me like he was trying to hypnotize me. He finally said, "The world!"

I was baffled, a strange guest, an unusual task, and an impossible assignment. Who was this person I conjured up, or for that matter what he asking of me. Maybe this was my chance to make my way, this was the outlet of this world between the here an now.